I’m sure I’m not the only mother alive who has fantasized about just chucking it all and walking away, starting a new life in a new town.

Remember that Anne Tyler book (I think it’s Ladder of Years) in which a middle-aged mom actually does it. She just walks into a new town and buys herself some pretty new dresses, rents an apartment, gets herself a job and carries on a new life.

I read this book before I had kids and the whole time, I’m hoping against hope that the kids and her husband never find her, that she never has to return to her old life filled with dirty socks and sarcastic remarks.

Fast forward about 12 years: I’m married to my best friend, and I have three kids who treat me with respect. They put on their own shoes, buckle their own seatbelts, clear their own plates from the dinner table and occasionally even make their beds without being asked – so I recognize that I have no right to complain.

Still, I know I’m not alone. I know that there are otherwise happy mothers out there who sometimes, just every so often, feel a little bit trapped and a little bit sad and who feel that they left something behind somewhere along the way to where they are now. But we don’t know what it looks like, and we don’t know where we lost it. So we go along and, some days, we look at the pavement a lot.

I guess it’s best described as a longing. Sometimes we long to be looked at, and sometimes we long to be really listened to, sometimes we long to be appreciated, and sometimes we long to be worried about, rather than the one who does all the worrying.

The hardest thing for me about being a mother of three these days is the day-to-day reality of my life and the fact that it’s a whole lot harder than it used to be to make changes in my everyday life. I have to weigh everyone’s wants and needs against my own.

Sometimes it’s easier for me when I’m in a crisis because then I’m focused on something or someone besides myself. My type A sensibilities have something to do. But crisis or not, it’s here, day to day. It gets very noisy and ridiculously loud here in my life, and I have to sink in and somehow love the little things or I just might lose my mind. I have to somehow find a way to enjoy picking up all the junk that’s all over the place.

Today, I have to allow myself to sit down on the floor and play pirates. I have to do this. I know I have to do this because I had to do it yesterday and the day before that. And I look at my son and he loves it, and so I do it. And since I’m going to have to do it, I’m going to need to figure out a way to enjoy it.

Thinking about all this, I started fantasizing about what I would do if it were different. Where would I go? I think about living in a very chic apartment in the city. I am wearing winter white and a pair of designer boots (which designer I don’t know because I don’t even know the names of any designers anymore.)

And then of course I think about the loneliness and I think about how my salvation would be all my chic friends who come to see me at all hours of the day and night. Thank God for all those friends, I would say, who care for me and whom I take care of.

Then I think about the fact that maybe our salvation comes to us dressed like each other, whether it’s a pair of designer boots or a pirate costume. Maybe our salvation lies in caring deeply for someone, in sharing a deep and abiding and committed love for someone, whether it’s through picking up their damn dirty socks or filling their Sippee cups (again) or finding the car keys or driving to T-ball or just sending them nice thoughts silently when they are crying and there really aren’t any words at all that will help.

And when we get scared or start feeling kind of depressed or desperate or angry, maybe we can just be kind to ourselves and start by blessing ourselves and other people with some nice thoughts. Maybe we don’t have to be Mother Theresa about it. Maybe we’re already doing enough just because we are here, holding a little person and doing the best we can, spreading peace and kindness and joy in our living rooms and making it a nice place to stay for a bit.
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Thanksgiving seems to arrive at lightning speed after Halloween. No sooner has the last trick or treater left your door and you are making Thanksgiving dinner plans. When our children were young, Thanksgiving was a very “Norman Rockwellesque” holiday for us. The whole family gathered at Grandma and Grandpa’s and the meal preparation started days in advance and lasted all day long. The television was on from the start of the Macy’s parade through the final tackle of the NFL game. The kids would be running around inside and out and all the while.. the kitchen was humming with activity. It truly was the most picturesque of Thanksgiving memories.

I sadly had to say good-bye to that picture perfect memory when our boys began playing high school football back in 1995. In our town, the tradition of Thanksgiving Day high school football had been entrenched for decades. The game was a huge cross-town rivalry, a great gathering spot for alumni and a change of tradition for our family. I began to host the family Thanksgiving from that year forward. Sadly, I am no Rachel Ray, my cooking heroine. She makes everything look simple, easy and delicious but I cannot replicate that talent. Nor can I cook for days in advance. I was working during the day, then jumping into my Superwoman persona at night. From September through the holidays was a busy time of year with the four kids and their extracurricular activities. It seemed every night held a new volunteer effort from organizing football team booster club dinners, to scout activities, PTA meetings, plus grocery shopping, laundry and who only knows what else. Even armed with great recipes, which I had intently planned to make in advance of the family arrival, my Thanksgiving menu always ended up the same. Turkey, Instant Mashed Potatoes, Stove Top Stuffing, Ready to heat gravy, Pillsbury crescent rolls and of course, the green bean casserole. Yikes.. could it get any less gourmet? Thankfully the family all brought desserts and appetizers!

Why you may wonder did everyone continue to make the trek for Thanksgiving year after year? I can certainly tell you it was not for the food. As a “Type A” personality, I figured out early that I must overcompensate for my poor cuisine skills. I turned the focus of Thanksgiving dinner from Food to Fun. I knew after the first year, that it was a smart move. No one even cared about what they ate, as we had way too much fun with dinner table favors and games, followed by after dinner entertainment.

To start with, I always find a way to make sure we all eat together. Even if it means squeezing chairs, adding card tables or going to the extreme of moving furniture from the dining room into the living room. Next, I make table favors for everyone that also serves as place cards. It could be as simple as a Holiday CD with a personalized CD cover to a photo mug. After that, I plan a game that all can play while we are eating. While Turkey Trivia is always fun, “Turkey Tunes” is another favorite. Like “Millionaire”, they can use family lifelines if they need help and of course, there are prizes for one and all. It is great fun and keeps everyone engaged and talking and laughing.

The final recipe for Thanksgiving fun… I plan after dinner entertainment. There is nothing worse than the lull after a big dinner. We pull out the desserts, have the coffee ready to go and lastly, announce the evening’s activity. It is so much more fun than having everyone head off to his or her chair for a nap! The activities have ranged from “Gobble, Gobble Bingo” to our favorite family auction game that helps us to kick off the holiday shopping season, “Hold or Swap”. Turkey “Hold Em”, a holiday version of the poker game “Texas Hold ‘Em” was great fun one year. Ask any of our family about Thanksgiving and they will never talk about the turkey but laugh as they recall their favorite Thanksgiving game. It is a tradition that has spanned a decade and made us all thankful each Thanksgiving for the fun we have together as a family. I have shared many of these game, favor and activity ideas at Celebration Ideas Online. Feel free to use them to create your own family Thanksgiving Fun and traditions that will make great memories. If you are really blessed, you will be able to hit the Trifecta by creating Great Memories, Great Food and Great Fun!

Mother’s Day is a wonderful occasion to celebrate and honor the important women in your life, from mothers to aunties to grandmothers. Why not mark the occasion with a party? Games like those below can make the occasion fun and memorable.

“How Well Do You Know Your Mom?” Mother’s Day Party Game

This game is a great one if you’ve got several ‘mother & children’ pairings or groups at your party. Party guests split off with their family members, and the mothers leave the room while the children stay. Ask the same 5 questions to each child or family about their mothers – examples include favourite color, favourite food, secret talent and most embarrassing moment. Bring the mothers back into the room and ask them the same questions. Teams earn one point every time Mom’s answer matches that of her children. The team with the most correct answers at the end of the game is the winner of this Mother’s Day party game.

“Photo-matching Competition” Mother’s Day Party Game

This game is great for a larger party where lots of mothers and children will be present. Each family has to bring a baby photo of Mom, and a baby photo including one or more of the children, to the party. The Moms have to try and correctly match the children to their baby photos, and the children have to match the Moms to their baby photos (a slightly more challenging task!). Each correct match earns a point, and the family with the most correct answers is the winner of this Mother’s Day party game.
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There are many different ways to potty train your toddler. At last count, I had found 35 different books for parents on potty training and I own most of those books. Based on my research and understanding, I break HOW to potty train down into the following five methods:

Infant Potty Training It’s potty time!! – practice until you get it right The Potty Training in One Day Method He will go potty when the time is right The Naked & $75 method
1) The Infant Potty Training Method:

Most used potty training method in underdeveloped nations around the world and probably the least used potty training method in North America.

It basically involves holding the infant over a potty to catch the eliminations.

It basically works by having the mom learn the infant’s rhythms and infant learns to recognize physical sensations that precede elimination.

This is very effective when the disposable diaper use is minimal or nonexistent.

Infants can learn to signal when they need to relieve themselves.

PROS of the Infant Potty Training Method :

Promotes parent child bonding

Start early, finish early

Wetting and soiling are not likely to become entrenched habits

Limited use of diapers results in:

Cost effective Prevents diaper rash Better for the environment More hygienic
CONS of the Infant Potty Training Method:

Time consuming; nearly impossible for working mothers.

Have to stay on top of it and stick with it until child can potty independently.

Accidents and accident clean up

2) It’s potty time!! -Practice until you get it right potty training method:

Introduce the potty to your child

Have potty be accessible

And then gradually teach him/her to use it.

This will include:

holding regular practice sessions rewarding child with things such as stickers or candy or whatever works for you child charting progress Gradually transitioning from diapers to potty to underwear.
PROS of the potty practice method:

This method can easily fit into a today’s family’s busy schedules

With some planning, some structure can be created around the practice sessions i.e. in the morning and in the evening.

Is done gradually over time.

Very limited accidents, if any.

CONS of the potty practice method:

Sticking to the structure and schedule until the toddler is potty trained

Could take anywhere from a weekend to a few months depending on the child’s maturity level, temperament and readiness.

May not learn to initiate him/herself, because parent always initiates.

Keeping the curios toddler interested long enough to sit on the potty and relax, so s/he is able to eliminate.

3) The Potty Training in One Day Method:

Based on two simple concepts:

Best way to learn something is to teach it. Use a potty training doll to model the appropriate potty training behavior for your child Behavior is shaped by consequence Use consequences for action – logical and natural.

Read an excerpt from the Parent’s Potty Training Guide: How to Potty Train in One Day

PROS of The Potty Training in One Day Method:

Quick – can be done in less than one day to a maximum of 2 weeks

Is a structured method.

Tools are now available.

Made popular by Dr. Phil.

CONS of The Potty Training in One Day Method:

Takes planning and preparation

Is a structured method.

Requires follow through by parents

Made to look easier than it is.

4) He will go potty when the time is right method:

This method is recommended by Dr Terry Brazelton and is also adopted by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

This is probably the most used method in North America .

The premise of the method is that since potty training is a developmental milestone in your child’s life (such as walking, talking, eating etc), your task as the parent is to introduce the potty and all the related tasks to your child.

Then when your child is ready, s/he will decide to use the potty and in effect will train themselves.

PROS of this method:

Very easy to fit into our busy lifestyle

Very little preparation required on the part of the parent.

Does not require a large time commitment or consistency from parent; therefore ideal for working parents

Great in concept, but not working well in reality – especially in a society where we are so dependent on the disposable diaper.

CONS of this method:

Could take anywhere between 1-6 months or longer in many cases.

Child may quite old before s/he is ready. The average age for potty training is going up every year.

Wetting and soiling can become entrenched habits for children.

5) The Naked & $75 method

Children 24 to 30 months of age

Parents spend three to five consecutive days on the training.

The child is allowed to be naked all day, with a potty available at all times.

It is important to note that experts disagree with Rosemond’s approach.

By the way, the $75 is for the inevitable carpet cleaning.

PROS of the Naked & $75 method:

Simple, easy and inexpensive

Quick – 3-5 days

CONS of the Naked & $75 method:

Not supported by experts

Messy

Copyright 2004-2005. Potty Training Concepts. All Rights Reserved.

See all the potty training articles from Potty Training Concepts.
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Within my first month of nursing my newborn son I had occasion to be very relieved to find an effective, herbal mastitis treatment. Not only were we dealing with a severe case of thrush, but also now on top of that, I found myself with a very painful breast infection.

So, what did we do?

1) Well, we used poultices of comfrey leaves and calendula flowers as a mastitis treament. Hot applications to the breast at least four times daily are recommended and the comfrey and calendula will soothe the nipples, help draw out the infection and unblock the tubes and ducts.

To make a comfrey / calendula poultice, put the comfrey leaves and calendula flowers in the blender with a bit of water and some flour to make a gelatin like substance. This can then be put into cotton cloth and stored in the freezer for future use. They can be heated in the oven just before applying to the breast.

2) Raw cabbage leaves are a great mastitis treatment. They can be placed directly on the infected area of the breast, also to help draw out the heat and infection.

The cabbage leaves will become warm and wilted and should then be changed out. This cure is especially effective just after a duct is clogged and before the infection sets in.

If my breasts start to feel sore or I notice any redness I immediately slip a cabbage leaf in my bra, and change it out several times during the day.

This amazingly simple mastitis treatment unclogs the duct quickly and doesn’t allow the infection to set in. Once I learned this trick, I never again suffered from a more severe breast infection.

3) We also used Echinacea root tincture as part of our mastitis treatment. One dropper full six times a day until the fever passed, and then smaller doses (2 or 3 times a day) until all symptoms had cleared.

Susun Weed, in the Childbearing Year recommends using Echinacea as an infusion rather than in tincture form.

So, if you can get some dried Echinacea root, use once ounce of root in a pint of boiling water and steep it for at least eight hours. Drink two cups daily until the fever comes down then move to a lighter infusion of one-ounce root to a quart of boiling water and drink one or two cups until the symptoms clear.

4) It is also important to get plenty of rest when dealing with a breast infection as they often result from lack of rest. Take a daily nap and take frequent rest breaks throughout your day. Call on your friends or family to help with chores or older children so you can get the rest you need. I remember sitting in a big, comfey chair nursing Rowan while different friends came by every few hours to help around the house and offer moral support. I don’t know what I would have done without them.

***Another important part of any mastitis treatment is to be sure to continue nursing as often and as long as possible on the infected breast.***

I remember this being a very painful proposition, especially in the first seconds after Rowan would latch on to my breast.

Continued nursing is important, though, for long-term milk flow and emptying the breast regularly will help promote healing. Mastitis definitely offered one of my biggest challenges to continued breast-feeding. Remember that the pain will not last once the infection has cleared up, and you will enjoy many months (or years) of wonderful nursing with your baby once the mastitis has passed.

5) Susun Weed also recommends poke root as an effective mastitis treatment. “A tincture of fresh (only) root stimulates lymph gland activity and clears mastitis quickly.” She says to use no more than 2 drops daily and suggests that you may want to combine it with Echinacea.

6) Cold, grated raw potato can also be used as a poultice. Apply directly to the breasts and cover with a clean cloth. Replace when dry.

7) Soaking breasts in an infusion of marshmallow root can also be an extremely soothing and healing mastitis treatment. Steep two ounces of root in a half gallon of boiling water overnight. Reheat to near boiling and pour into a basin. Soak breasts until the infusion cools.

If you or your partner currently has mastitis and that’s why you’ve come here to our site, I send you lots of love and wishes for a quick recovery. Those days when the infection was strong in my body are definitely among the most painful in my memory.

Take heart, trust the plants, and know that with this simple mastitis treatment, this too shall pass.
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Breastfeeding, as you may have already heard, is the most recommended form of providing nourishment for the growing baby. Doctors and health care centers cannot stress enough how many great benefits are given to the mom and the baby when breastfeeding becomes established as a routine. If you are not yet familiar, here is a brief run through of the plus sides of breastfeeding.

The baby is said to gain weight faster because of mom’s breast milk. Infants who are born with jaundice are able to recover faster when they are breast fed. Furthermore, the digestive systems of babies can break down breast milk more efficiently, so less constipation or diarrhea is experienced.

For the mom, breastfeeding is an effective method to help her regain her pre-pregnancy weight. Furthermore, some sources say that moms who breast feed have a form of natural birth control. More importantly, breastfeeding helps the mother bond with her baby more.

However, great as breastfeeding may be, there are some woes that many women experience with this task. One of the most common problems is cracked nipples. This is caused by drying of the skin around the nipple area, which can be irritating and painful. Here are some tips on dealing with cracked nipples when breastfeeding.

1. Use a lanolin-based nipple cream to moisturize the cracked area. Aveeno and Lansinoh are some brands that are highly recommended, and these are readily available in drug stores and supermarkets. You don’t have to rub off the cream before feeding, as it is safe for the baby.

2. You can also rub your own breast milk on the sore or cracked area as the Vitamin E contained in it can moisturize and heal your skin.

3. If your breast pads get soaked, change them right away. Nursing pads made out of cotton are the best to use. Also, use a comfortable bra to relieve any irritation from the cracked nipples. If the cracked nipples have not healed completely, you may use a breast shell inside your bra, this prevents any skin contact with the fabric of your nursing bra.

4. Take warm showers before or after nursing, to help the blood circulate better and to soothe any pain in your nipple area. Some people use warm compress on their breasts for relief.

If symptoms still persist, you may want to contact your doctor to find more effective solutions for cracked nipples.
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Many doctors and psychologists will tell you that you do not want to potty train your child early. They think that it is not conducive to helping the child when it comes to doing potty training early. As a matter of fact, they feel that potty training your child early takes longer than potty training your child at a later stage of the game.

In other words, what they mean is a child potty trained at the age of four might take a day to do while a child potty trained at the age three, might take three days to do and so on.

Now, I do not know how true these numbers are or what their statistics are, but let us look at the facts in reality versus how many days it takes to potty train.

Let’s assume that at the age four it takes you two days to potty train your child versus at the age three it takes ten days to potty train your child, which is an extreme difference. Psychologists will have you believe it is better to potty train your child at four because it takes less work. Well, as a parent, wouldn’t an extra ten days a year earlier make more sense to you than waiting a year to save three days worth of work.

Psychologists do not understand the work that is involved when it comes to having to change diapers and underwear and cleaning soil-filled clothes on a daily basis.

I do not know about you, but I would rather spend 15 days at the age of 2 and get potty training out of the way than wait 2 years and spend 3 days at the age of 4.

Now when you mention early potty training most people really are thinking about potty training starting as early as one year or younger. Some cultures start potty training as six weeks.

In my opinion, it is not a bad idea to introduce your child to the potty as early as possible, even if that is six or seven months, do not be afraid to introduce your child to the potty

Now, that does not mean taking your child and saying they have to do potty inside the toilet, but it is saying letting them sit on the potty letting them get used to being on the potty

What this does is, when you are ready to start potty training you will essentially be able to get rid of the resistance that the child will have to the potty See, the problem most parents have with potty training is they are introducing too many variables into the equation. Variable one is the toilet, or the potty Variable two is no diapers. Variable three is potty training So, there are a lot of things that you are asking the child to do at one shot.

What you want to do is start a little bit early. Start only by introducing your child to the potty so they can sit down, even if it is for five minutes a few times a day. Just sit down on the potty so that they can get used to being on it.

This sets the stage for when your expectations are for them to do potty in the toilet. There will be less resistance that other will go through.

So in my opinion, early potty training is not something you do, but early introduction to potty training or to the potty is a very good step to take.

Being a single Mom while trying to run a household has more than enough stress, let alone than when something breaks down. In my opinion, most Single Moms running a household accomplish more in one day, than most Men do in a week.

I am not trying to be prejudice towards Men because, after all I happen to be one. However, it amazes me at how much many single Mothers get accomplished in a day. Not only do many of them hold down full time jobs, but they also need to take care of their family as well. Usually their day starts off getting up early. Then feed the kids breakfast, pack their lunches, and get them off to school. All of this must accomplished before going to work herself. By then, I would be spent, and ready for a well deserved beer.

However for many single mothers their day is only beginning. After getting the kids dressed, fed and off to school hopefully there will be a few moments for herself before going to work. I bet that as hard as kids can be in the mornings, going to work would seem like a break to me.

After working all day she now must make sure the kids have arrived home from school safely, then cook and feed them dinner. Hopefully her kids are old enough to help clean up the kitchen. Next she will make sure there are plenty of clean clothes and, the kids have been bathed for the next school day. After dinner there is homework to get done. Plus whenever there is time, she must squeeze in grocery shopping, paying bills plus countless other duties I can’t begin to think of. Many kids also have after school activities such as Sports, Band etc? Honestly, I have no clue how they do it.

I suppose if I was put in the same situation I could somehow find the strength to do it all but, I have my doubts. I find it hard enough to complete most tasks let alone, trying to raise a family on my own.

I grew up in a household with a Single Mom and although at the time I did not realize it, My Mother did a lot more than I ever gave her credit for. I wished she would have lived long enough for me to really show how much I appreciated what she did.

While I was growing up, one of things that would frustrate my Mother the most was when something need repair around the house. This literally would drive Mom nuts. This usually put my Mother in a bad mood and there was a lot of extra stress in the household until whatever it was that needed fixing had be dealt with.

I often analyzed this, and wondered why a plugged drain in a bathroom which we hardly used would bother her so much. Certainly we could all share one bathroom! Later in life I realized the frustrations she felt was because of the lack of knowledge, when it came to home repairs.

Usually not wanting to hire a contractor, she often depended on a married so called boyfriend to fix things for her. My Mother became a widow at a young age and I am sure she felt victimized. Life dealt her a tough blow ,and I was very young at the time so I was not much help. I often wondered if she compromised herself just to get things done or, did she really have any real interest in this guy. Back then there were not many resources for Women to learn as there are today and it was still a “Man’s world” so to say.

In the last decade there has been an increase in the number of Single Women who are beginning to take on even more. Many Women today are learning how to repair the many common items around the house. Taking on challenges that were once thought of as “The Man’s Work” is now becoming status quo. By educating themselves in these areas, Women are becoming stronger and more self confident. Even the media today portrays this on a regular basis and Single Women have become a new target market for advertisers.

“You’ve Come a Long Way Baby” was a phrase that maybe was ahead of it’s time, But Not Anymore!